Monday, February 22, 2010

The Moviegoer vs. The Evil Film Critics vs. Hightly Reccomen

For those of you wondering why I made that podcast, well... here's why.

The Netflix community- which, of course, is like the UN of the world's moviegoers- was crying out for Hightly Reccomen. For a change from those evil, rich, mean-spirited reviewers that ONLY care about ruining our good time! Don't believe me? Then cup your ear to the cries of revolution on the streets, and read on...

Some of you cynics might be thinking to yourself, "Dude, it's not the critics fault... you just have awful, vomit-inducing, migraine-creating, unrefined, too-horrific-to-even-laugh-at taste in movies."

Sooo cynical.

Hell yeah! The success of a movie based on toys that cost... well, a lot... deserve to be #1! Because Hollywood cares about us, the movie lovers! They aren't cranking out soulless pap with big explosions and giant robot testicles for the Evil Film Critics- it's for us! The people they laugh at while they take our money for watching what is essentially a near 3-hour commercial! Take THAT!

Even if they did see the show- it's like they expected the movie to stand on its own merits and be entertaining, or something!! I hate those fancy Hollywood critics so much....

To be fair, I think with a director with the name "Shankman" should be making sweet, violent, sexy exploitation films...

Now that's a bedtime story!

Hear that, poor, beleaguered movie watcher? It's the winds of change, blowing away from those evil movie critics asses that pick on Larry
the Cable Guy just 'cuz he's awesome and AMERICAN, and towards a new generation of reviewer. Enjoy.

Bask in its glow... that's what it's there for...

Thank you, Hightly.


  1. An "OSCER"? For any aspect of the WOLFMAN movie!!
    *building rage*

    As a fellow movie reviewer....


  2. Who didn't like the podcast? Tell me now so that I can kick him or her in the cajones. If he or she does not have cajones, they will be surgically implanted.

    Everyone knows that there are two things which will always prevent a movie from achieving the status of "great:" robot testicles and Will Farrell. With either of those, the best it can hope to achieve is "solidly mediocre." Though now that I think about it, I'm not entirely convinced that the two are any different.

  3. Did I miss giant Robot testicles by skipping Revenge of the Fallen? I may have to reconsider now.

    It makes me smile that someone thinks having seen the Land of the Lost series would make the movie seem better to the [evil] critics. I haven't seen the film just yet (so by netflix review convention I suppose I should give it 3 stars or something), but the only way I see that logic working is that by comparison to the amazing badness of the series (which I did watch religiously at one time), the movie will look good. Sadly from what I've heard that's not even true.

    The wolf is great. What more could a werewolf movie need?
    (I was actually looking forward to that movie, and the [evil] critics convinced me I was in for a big disappointment. Perhaps one rainy cable-watching day I'll decide for myself how disappointing Benicio and Hopkins can be)

    I'd like to state once again, for the record, that I liked the podcast. Please no one kick me... anywhere.

  4. I watched the SciFi Land of the Lost marathon too!

    That's all.

  5. Froderick- Wolfman was rife with imperfections, but I enjoyed it until the end (where the CGI wolfman was shown full lit a LOT, and he was the perfect weight of human-to-wolf ratio to look hilarious.) It embraces it's campy B-movie-ness, sometimes I even felt like it was aspiring to be a Hammer horror picture. Also, Anthony Hopkins has a ton of fun viciously tearing through the scenary, which is always worth a look. I wouldn't spend more that a matinee price on it, but I think it'd be a decent rental.

  6. Oh joy, thanks for restoring my hope for this one!

  7. ...and why o why did I not already add:

    3D Prison Girls!!!!!!!!!! *swoon*