Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Manly, Manly Entry

I'm not a big rap fan, but I gotta admit this review jam is pretty catchy....

It's all economics. Quantitty, and all that.

This guy is gonna crap his pants when The Bank Job Two comes out...

Lemme just rate it 4 stars here... do as I say, not as I do, people! Real wisdom, here.

Aw, c'mon... please? It's Seagal!

3 stars for a movie you haven't seen that reminded you of a terrible movie you HAVE seen. Holy hell, your talents are being wasted stupid reviewing solely for Netflix subscribers....

HA! Exactly! If you can't make a comedy yourself, how will you know what's funny? So do the "good old American" thing and STEAL from them! If you get arrested, who cares? You can tell your cellmates you're in there for stealing Wild MOTHERFUCKIN' Hogs, a FFFFUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNY, great memory-making piece of comedic gold.
Know what they'd say to that? They'd salute you.
Those fancy critics at home? They'll be in their cold, expensive apartments, weeping into their cold, expensive Ingmar Bergman Criterion DVD sets.

God Bless America.

1 comment:

  1. 1. Is "cracked" good? I can't keep up with all the hippity hoppity slang you kids today use.

    2. "Quantitty." I see what you did there.

    (skipping a few) 3. Everyone knows Hollywood ran out of original ideas in 1994. All they can do is steal now and make large piles of cash from the cleverly relabeled thefts. They are living the American dream!