I have no doubt that this would have been a better movie if 1. Jackie Chan had an Irish accent in it and 2. That boy WAS "special", and the medallion is a badge made out of tinfoil that says "Sheruff" on it.
Well, as long as there's no holes in it and there's vengedence in it....
I totally missed the Starbucks conspiracy angle when I watched this movie. MAN, this reviewer is amazing. I also think this rhymed, somehow, which makes it REALLY profound.
Translation of the lady post-Kangaroo that heard you having a "grand ole time in the theater": It's bad enough her kids dragged her to see Kangaroo Jack, the loud, manic laughter of a grown man watching it added a new layer of hell to it.
"Big foot kept them with thier(sic) eyes open and mouths closed." If there's an underground wrestler named Big Foot out there that wants to start a nanny business, your motto is right here.
This could BE YOU!
(Big thanks yet again to Insomniac Zac for his hot Photoshop skillz! He also made that ace AvP header.)
(Click image for original size)
Some boys, if you catch her 11-year-old drift. *nudge*
Memo to Robert Pattison: This is the fanbase you have cultivated at this point in your career. From now on, your success is based solely on your hair, kissing girls named Bella and how well you can brood.
Enjoy your fanomanal success!
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MORE UPDATES, MORE !!
ReplyDelete*appoints you Sheruff of Netflix comedy*
My favorite thing about the "Hurt" review is that someone found it helpful.
ReplyDeleteAgain being an 11 year old girl I think she's right that Robert shouldn't be kissing a guy he's to hot. Assuming "to hot" is some new kids' slang for "to serve with a subpoena" or something. It would be inappropriate to kiss him first, he should wait until at least their second serving.
(Pattinson's got a long career ahead as Luke Perry's brooding understudy)
That Recruit review is lacking jazz hands and David Blaine style stares into the camera.
ReplyDeleteTHE RECRUIT! *jazz hands with stare*