Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I have an agenda. Of PAIN.

YOU LIE! Sigh. I got all excited, too. Now all we can do is imagine it... or watch Youtube videos of mash-ups of Child's Play & Leprechaun!

This totally looks like a fantastic movie that would set box office records!!

Amen, sister! Action heroes just don't know who to punch anymore...

Not him, he's Republican!! I know he's an Austrian actor, but he's not a Democrat!! Dammit, Sly, you used to know how to be a MAN!

Hell yeah! Just as long as the person you punch is for Obama's healthcare plan- then it's not a bad thing at all, it's JUSTICE.

Alright- full disclosure. Obama personally cancelled it because Biden hates Skeet Ulrich.

"Put on a SHIRT young man, and stop writing things on yourself like some methed-out child! What the hell kind of name is Skeet anyway, do you think that's professional? I can't believe anyone thought you'd be the next Johnny Depp... "The Craft". Please. More like "The Crap"! And "Scream"! Sir, what in God's name do you have against the lovely Neve Campbell?"

Not really in the mood to snark this reviewer. You knew what the f**k the movie was about when you chose to rent it. Don't expect art to
conform to your narrow, bigoted little "agenda". Don't like the movie-
fine. But don't act like a twisted little monster that deserves to be
somewhere at the exclusion of others. /end rant.

Sorry, I need a review palette cleanser after that...

*sigh* Thank you.


  1. Oh dear - forget all those Alice in Wonderland trailers I've been drooling over, they NEED to make the Chucky/Leprechaun thing happen!

    Damn, look how very manly Sly and Arnie look in that pic!!! They should be out pummeling liberals together somewhere.

    Let's be fair though, it's not just the Socialist regimes that are anti-Skeet. Bush had Miracles buried because the whole "God is nowhere/now here" thing overtaxed his brain.

    Sheesh. Next thing you know they'll be wanting to let gays be all gay with each other right there in the foxholes and stuff too! Damn gays and their agenda. Just like soldiers and other manly men, clearly no cowboys would actually want to be gay, it's a Joker and Bubble Boy plot of some kind. The only thing that redeems that review is that it gave you the excuse to bring up "Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other" just like I hoped you would and pretty much make my day!

    I now never have to watch 7th Heaven. I think I could pass a test after that one.

  2. Sorry I didn't finish the photoshop of Chucky and the Leprechaun nude and holding each other draped in the Pride flag watching 7th Heaven !!

    Great update!

  3. Brokeback Mountain is the disease, and he's the cure.

    That disease being entertainment, and the cure being 7th Heaven.

    Also, there is no situation in life that a quote from Cobra cannot fix:

    Pulled over by a traffic cop - "This is where the law stops and I start - sucker!"

    Heated paintball match - "Hey dirtbag, you're a lousy shot. I don't like lousy shots. You wasted a kid... for nothing. Now I think it's time to waste you!"

    Run into Ben Franklin on time travelling adventures - "You're history."

    Wife on her period and acting whacky - "I don't deal with psychos. I put them away. "

    Thank you Marion Cobretti...thank you.

    Wait..his name's Marion?

    That's kinda...



    Screw Chucky and Leprechaun. I can see the marquee: COBRA ESCAPES FROM BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!!!

  4. Philemon- You sure... have those Cobra quotes down. Um, I hope for your sake they do that movie!

  5. I'm a sucker for good conversation.