Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Clown Jugglers? This oughta be fun...

Insane Clown Posse review time! Normally it'd be like shooting giant sharks in one of those little plastic barrels they keep those little plastic monkey toys in, but for some reason juggalos and juggalettes aren't big on DVD reviews...

Magic ninjas... wait, what??

Well, you're a fantastic parent just the same for renting it for them anyway. :) High five, for contributing to society!

Sadly, this was the last transmission from "Kamakaze" #23. The 22 kamikazes left similar cryptic goodbye messages, ranging from hints about ninjas with magical powers and mentally disturbed harlequin gangs.

No, not a bad review but... 5 stars? Have the Insane Clown Posse *really* enriched your life to the point that you can give Death Racers an instant pass even though it sucks?


Then the fool is me, I guess. I'm just hatin' cuz I don't have homies. :(

Sci Fi Channel juggalos 4 lyfe! Up yours, limey!!

"What was that again? Send in the clowns my bleedin' arse..."

But what do scary men in clown makeup have to do with death racing, anyway? What does enjoying that insanity have anything to do with me wanting to see cars that murder people/each other?? I don't understand anything anymore!!

"This is a film intended to be for an audience of juggalos." Really? Let's check the synopsis...

"Four hyped-up teams of contestants compete to win a violent race in this action-packed sci-fi flick. Living in a grim future world in which life is cheap, the racers will do anything to win. Even killing competitors off while pushing their vehicles to go the distance is not against the rules -- and is probably the only way to prevail. Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse star, along with former WWE star Raven."

I'm not sure this is true. What about the massive fans of WWE star Raven?? You want to deny them this thrill ride? I'm so sick of this juggalo elitism- them and their jaunty hunts for chickens and whatnot. Good day to you, sirs!

(Thanks Insomniac Zac for your decapitation work!)


  1. You'll neva know what real shit is.

    Oh wait, you got Homies on YouTube, so maybe you do know real shit when you hear it. Complete, utter, unmatched shit. Real. Magic. Please make it a magically disappear.

    I actually let Homies play in the background for a whole MINUTE as I read on before I had to go back and make it stop. I'm building my tolerance maybe, but at what cost? You poison your body in small doses in the hope that it will be able to handle a concentrated attack at a later date, like Wesley did with the iocane powder. One day I might find myself holed up Manuel Noriega-style, trying to hold the last shreds of my junta together, and the greedy imperialists will try to drive me out blasting their Hokus Pokus and their I Want My Shit, and I'll be one step ahead of them. Hollow and vacant, but prepared. Jason Statham can play me in the movie they inevitably make, but please let Stephen Sondheim do the soundtrack.

    (Yeah, I'll never "get it," and boy howdy am I glad!)

  2. I love how ICP proves that you can get legions of rabid (sometimes literally) fans without any talent, just by strutting around stage in tons of caked-on makeup. I mean, that males can do that.

    Let this be a lesson to you, kids: foul, violent, racist, misogynistic lyrics and a cheap gimmick beat talent every time!